[Tangent]: My photo on the side over there ------> is kind of a quirky one. I must have just come in from a windy outside with my bangs all wonky, my lips chapped, and a bit of shine on the nose. But, you know, that's just how it can be on a typical day around here! That was taken last year--my first selfie on my phone. lol I had cancer that day and didn't know it. Isn't that weird? (I'm okay now). [End of tangent]
Sometimes I have no idea who I really am. I know my name, my birth date, my address, social security number, and occupation(s). I know who my family and friends are. All of these things help define me in some ways, but who am I really?
I know the sound of my laughter and the way I say things. I know what I think I like and dislike. But how much of these are really me, and how much is other people's influence on me?
What would I be like if I grew up isolated, with no influence from other people? What if it was just my parents and me, and they taught me everything I needed to know, but I had no other people's influence on me? Would I like everything the two of them liked? Laugh just like one of them? Think only as they thought?
Speaking of laughing, let's use that as an example. The way I laugh . . . did I hear it somewhere and adopt that kind of laugh as my own, or does everyone have their own original laugh? Or did I once have my own original laugh and it has morphed into something I heard from someone else? I don't know if my laugh sounds like anyone else's, but I don't know if it's my original laugh, either. Just like almost every other aspect of myself.
If I'm a product of my influences, am I that any more so than anyone else? Are we all a hodgepodge of characteristics we've admired in others (consciously or not) and taken on ourselves as our lives have transpired?
Maybe it doesn't matter as much who I am as it does WHOSE I am. God knows my name. He whispered it in my sleep one time. At least I think it was Him. Startling, but cool! He knows I am His and He is glad I am His. Me, too! He knows the original Laurel and which parts are really meant to be "me" and which parts He's still helping me chisel away. I'm content with that.
Most of the time.
Matthew 10:29-31 - Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And
not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But
even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you
are of more value than many sparrows.
My parents named me Laurel, after the mountain laurel flower, but I've always gone by Laurie. I feel like I've spent my whole life trying to be what other people would find acceptable, and it hasn't been until recent years that I've thought more about how GOD would like me to be. He wants my heart to be seeking after HIM and not the approval of man. So, this is where I will be working out my thoughts, removing the masks (even my nickname!), being real, and making a FREAK of myself! ha ha Any other Jesus Freaks or just freaks in general or even non-freaky people are welcome to read, discuss, encourage, or be encouraged. Welcome to my brain . . . and my heart. :)