Because of the Martyrs and For the Discouraged

Desperate.

Depressing.

The news from around the world and in our own country and region is overwhelming.  I can barely stand to read or hear it.  What's going on?!  I know, but I can't wrap my head around it.

Am I the only one?

Sometimes it takes great effort to reign in my thoughts and focus on what's important and true.

God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit.  Truth.

Evil exists.  Truth.

God has given man free will to choose truth or evil.  Many will choose evil.  Truth.

Truth prevails over evil.  God is stronger than evil.  Truth.

God wins.  Truth.

Satan has already lost.  And is acting desperately before his allowed time is up.  Truth.

No matter how much ground he gains in these mournful days; no matter how many heads he detaches from faithful bodies; no matter how many lies he convinces ticklish ears to believe; no matter how big the messes he makes in countries, families, and individual lives, Satan loses.  Truth.

God prevailed.  God prevails.  God will prevail.

End of story.


For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  --Romans 8:38-39


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Dear Old Friend . . .

The person this is written about will never read this, and I will never, ever put a name with it.  Writing this is my way of working through my thoughts after having time to contemplate tragic news.  Wow, it is difficult to process something so dreadful in a Christ-like manner, as the humanness wants to take over.

Dear Old Friend,

I know what you did.  You don't know I know, but it wouldn't likely matter to you whether or not I know.  You're in a dark place now, where folks are not likely to be kind to you, and your thoughts are probably often consumed with survival.

I'm sick with the knowledge.  Part of me wishes I didn't know.  It's the kind of thing that reminds you of the bliss ignorance really is in comparison.

My heart hurts for your family way more than it hurts for you.  But there's still room for a bit of compassion toward you.  I now understand why you clung so stubbornly to your "cheap grace," a way to justify your secrets in your own mind.

The ache in my heart--I don't know what to do with, about, or for it.  I just keep praying . . .

 . . . for those who loved you--that they may find truth and healing and the true love they need.

. . . for you--that the depths that haunt you will bring you to your knees; that the prideful chains around your heart will be broken; that you, too, will find and accept truth, healing, and true love.

Prayer is all I've got for you, my old friend.  I don't have the courage to go where you are and try to talk to you, nor am I under the impression that it's my place to do so at this point.  I have no words, anyway.

Not to minimize prayer.  It's really the best thing I can do.  Whether or not you submit to what God wants to do in your life in response to people's prayers for you is completely up to you.  I hope you somehow know that someone is praying for you.  Probably more than one someone.

You SO don't deserve to be prayed for.  You don't deserve forgiveness or any sliver of kindness or compassion or friendship.

But, then, neither do I.  From a human viewpoint, I haven't sunk into the depths of depravity that you have, but your sins were no less covered by Jesus' blood than mine.  Without Jesus Christ, the Jesus of the Bible (not the one you made up), I'd be in the same depths by a different route.

I'm so thankful for His compassion, I can't not extend a portion of it to you.  How I pray you will remember your roots, your passion for truth and justice--your love for Jesus!  You did love Him in days long past.  I remember.

I more than likely won't see you again on this earth.  I don't know if I'll see you after that.  I know where I'll be, but I don't know what you'll choose in the time you have left to make such choices.  What I'm sure of, though, is that if we're both there, neither of us will deserve to be.  We won't have gotten there on our own, by anything we've done or thought or said.

We'll both get there the same way.  Jesus' grace isn't cheap, my friend.  I'm praying you'll embrace His expensive (yet free to us!), lavish grace and find peace for your obviously-tortured soul.

-L-

LM Birthday Letter, 2014

My dear LM,

The day you've been so excited about for months is almost upon us!  Your twelfth birthday (and, of course, those words cause me to choke up!)--can it be here already?

You've grown so much in the past year--both in stature and character.  I don't want to dwell too much on the past this time, though.  I want to live in the moment.

Right now you are in your room, listening to Odyssey and building something with Leggos.  You are dreaming about your birthday and talking about it constantly.  You are counting and recounting your money and planning what to do with it.  You are enjoying summer freedom and staying up late.  You are smart, funny, handsome, loveable, friendly, outgoing, inquisitive, sweet, strong, and helpful.

You have your "stuff" you're working on, like we all do, and you are learning to ask God for help.  Just remember this, now and always:  God doesn't make us aware of our shortcomings to condemn us, but because He wants us to be free of them.  What love He has for you, LM!

I hope you'll choose to walk in freedom this next year, and for the rest of your life.  In a mysterious way, that only God fully understands, we find the fullest freedom in obedience to Him.  I so want you to know this concept in ways I didn't comprehend at your age.

You're a great kid, and I'm so very thankful God chose your dad and me to receive the gift of you as our child.

Happiest of Birthdays to you, my son!

Lovingly,
Mom

PS.  LM: Since I started this new blog this year, if you want to find your former birthday letters, click here. The ones before these you'll have to ask me for (long story).  I love ya, Buddy!

Friday Night Randomness: May Favorites

Best Reads:  I can't help it.  I've been re-reading Pride & Prejudice on my Kindle.  Some books bear repeating so well.  :)  And it's free right now!

Click here for more info

Foodliness:  Love, love, love (but I'm the only one in my house who does) these Snapea Crisps, the lightly salted variety.  I found them at Martin's, but I'm sure they are available elsewhere.  I don't know how healthy they actually are, but they're a tasty snack from time to time.  They are snap peas that are baked, and they kind of puff up and become crunchy.  Something different.

From the Makeup Bag:  My eyelashes need as much help as they can get!  Alas, I wasn't born with LM's never-ending, perfectly curled lashes.  Seems unfair if I choose to look at it that way. ;)  L'oreal Voluminous mascara does a decent job.

Skin Care:  We've all heard how important it is to remove our makeup before cleansing the skin.  Some of the facial wipes out there are quite costly!  Awhile back, I took a chance when I saw that Dollar Tree carries "Exfoliating Facial Wipes" for sensitive skin.  You get 30 in a package for $1, and they work!  They even remove most eye makeup well.  They're not very thick, but they still get the job done.

Musically Speaking:  Love this!  When we sing it in church, I find myself singing or humming it for weeks to come. :)



Home Theater:  LM and I enjoyed watching this adventurous family-friendly movie on Netflix, and I highly recommend it!

Click here for more info.

Candle:  The only candle I burned in May was a "Huntington Home" Spa candle, in "coconut milk & mango" scent.  I love the smell of coconut, and, though I love mangoes, the mango scent overpowers the coconut milk and smells a little to sweet or something.  I'm not a fan of candles that smell like food usually anyway, but the word "coconut" swayed me this time.  It's fine, but I'm not crazy about it.

App:  I go back and forth between reading my physical, crinkly-paged Bible and reading on my phone or Kindle.  In May I mostly read from YouVersion.

Click here for more info.

Human:  My favorite human for this month has to be Landon Austin.  He's doing a very decent thing (which will be obvious in the near future) to support my upcoming Young Adult Christian fiction series, due to be available on Kindle later this summer.  I've loved Landon's music for quite awhile.  He does fantastic covers (often better than the originals!) and records his own original music, too.  Unforgettable voice and scads of talent.  He has a funny vlog channel, too.  Here's his latest (I think) cover:

I Wish . . .

I wish I never hurt anyone unintentionally (or intentionally, for that matter).

I wish I was wise.

I wish I was more decisive.

I wish I learned some things more quickly.

I wish I always knew the right things to say.

I wish it wasn't so hard to take a risk.

I wish I spent more time praying about these things instead of wishing . . .

Undeserving of the Dream?

So, the plan is that I'm publishing a series of eBooks on Kindle this summer.

Ever since "going public" with this tidbit, I've been struggling with feeling unworthy of having this dream become a reality.

Why?

I guess the main reason is that it's not that huge of a dream for me.  Let me explain.  I've been thinking about people who have a dream, and they're so passionate about it and do everything they possibly can to make that dream come true.  There's nothing they won't do, no avenue they won't exhaust to see their desire become a reality.  Some are consumed by it day in and day out, night after sleepless night.

It's never been that way for me.  From the second the idea of publication took root in my heart, it's been an exciting idea, but my attitude has been, "I don't want it if You don't want it for me, Lord.  Do with this manuscript whatever You will."

When I think sensibly,  I know there's nothing wrong with that attitude.  But then the sappy side of me engages and I think of so many who, despite all their passion, never see their dream realized.  Or struggle so much harder than I did to reach the desired destination.

And that makes me feel undeserving.

But what I've been reminded of  the past several days is that, with God, nothing is about what we deserve.  What I deserve.

If I had my just desserts, I would be either dead or living a very miserable life right now.  I would be separated from God forever.  I would have nothing of any sort of value.  I would BE nothing of value.

God doesn't deal with who deserves what.  It's not about that for Him, because Jesus more than makes up for what we lack in the deserving department.  He uses people who are willing to be used by Him for his purposes, and He decides what those purposes are.  What an honor to be a vessel for Him, despite my lifetime of screw-ups and unsavory things I have said and done. That He chooses to use me in any situation is an honor.

There's no one else I could say that about.  Who wants to be used?  But God is so perfect and loving, I can trust Him to use me in the purest and most loving ways.

What I need to stop doing is comparing myself with other people, my story with others' stories.  This isn't about comparing or measuring up.  It's about what God wants to do through me.  I don't have to have a dramatic story for it to matter or for it to accomplish God's purpose.  I believe that now.

Please remind me that I believe it should I falter in my thinking again! :)

Friday Night Randomness: April Favorites

April!  We finally had some spring-like days--such loveliness!  Here are some of my favorites from the month of April.

Best Reads:  I've had four books going on in April.  Pretty much at the same time.  I'm not sure how or why I'm doing this, as it's very uncharacteristic of me, but it's just what's happening lately.  In addition to trying to finish the Bono biography I talked about last month, I've also been reading:

Click here for more info.

Great book so far. I need to finish it and think it all through some more.

Click here for more info.

I was needing a fresh parenting perspective.  The title is awful in my opinion, but you can't always judge a book by its cover.  I may do a full review on this later, but this gave some helpful and effective insights.  And it made me laugh out loud several times, too. :)

Click here for more info.

This one kind of fills in the gaps left by the other one.  Seriously, the two of them together have helped me look at things I'd never thought of before.


Foodliness:  Spicy Sausage Pasta
Not exactly the healthiest, but my little family loved it.  And it's not very spicy, but still flavorful!



From the Makeup Bag:  Love this eyeshadow palette called Petal Pusher from Wet & Wild.  Only $5 at Walgreens, Meijer, and probably other places, too, but the colors are really pigmented and have some staying power.  I don't use all eight colors.  The lightest pink is my favorite for the lid and the one below it for the crease (in other words, I don't go by how they've labeled the colors).

Click here for more info.

Musically Speaking:








Not sure why this video is showing up like this, but it's a Landon Austin and Ellie Swisher cover of this  melodic lullaby.  It haunts me in a lovely way.  Though I'm one of the few Americans who hasn't seen the movie, I've heard Taylor Swift's version of this song and (sorry, Taylor!), this one is so much better! (I'm making a sheepish face right now.)

 


Home Theater:  Didn't have time to watch much in April, but LM and I enjoyed watching  "The Greening of Whitney Brown" on Netflix.

Click here for more info.

Candle:  I've been enjoying my Tuscany lilac candle, tiding me over 'til my real lilacs bloom.

Found this at Meijer, but it's not on their website.  Click here to order online via Shopko

App:  Seriously, this is so boring, but the app I used most in April was The Weather Channel one.  Yawn!



Human:  So, it's not my intention to regularly have my Favorite Human of the Month be someone I actually know in person, because I know and love so many wonderful people and would never want to appear to be playing favorites.  But they say there's an exception to every rule, and I can't let this one go by because of some silly, self-imposed rule. ;)  So, April's "Favorite Human" is actually a duo:  My newborn nephew, Jonathan and his mama, Betsy (my sis!).  They're both the bomb in my book.